Written By: Keith Christensen
Having willpower is a choice. It is not something that is given, nor something that is validated by the external. If you examine yourself, you will find it. When you find it, you will realize it. And when you realize it, you will know that nothing can stop you. For it is the strength of not only discipline, but perseverance and the willingness to never give up. It is the strength of a hero, and to embrace it, is the strength to shape your destiny. Here is my story this year.
2013 Earning my second chance to LIVE.
Who is Keith Christensen:
At 6’-5” I have always been Big Keith or BK my whole life. But almost all those people don't know that it all goes back to being a child growing up & living in a physically and mentally abusive home. That has locked me in this l loop of never feeling good enough or a failure my whole life. I have let this pain shape me and my life. My Dad taught me everything NOT to do raising a child or treating your wife and I truly thank him for that. With that being said I have never found a way to work though the Pain and the secrets that you have to keep. I, like most children in this position learned to just bury it down deep inside and move forward, that it is too painful to think about every day.
Just like any problem no matter how deep you think you bury it, it will come out sooner or later. On me it showed up on the scale. I topped the scales at 434 lbs January 2013. I was slowly poisoning myself with the 1 thing I found comfort in, FOOD. I looked at my wife and said I was sick and ashamed of what I had become.
I had tried before and like most I set a weight goal but never really committed and then when I did not hit the goal, I ate to feel better. After 16 years of smoking I finally quit on Valentines Day 2012 after my wife and daughter asked me to stop, because they loved me even though I did not love myself. I had used smoking as a crutch to deal with stress. What I realized was I had all the tools I needed to deal with stress without a cigarette. It is possible.
That experience taught me that if my WHY was strong enough that I could have the willpower to do this also. I refused to be a Victim in my own life any MORE for something I did not do. So I set out and made a board of short and long term goals . I have always put a weight goal instead of a just getting Healthy/Fit goal. I have to say setting the fitness goals is the best thing I could have done. I hiked all over Oregon, Alaska and California this year and am now running 5 days a week, hiking on the weekends and doing CrossFit 3 days a week.
The scale has moved just fine for me without obsessing over it. I have lost 61 fricken inches overall and 134lbs so far. That’s a 5’1" 134 lb. monkey off my back . I now realize that the scale measures just weight not Drive, Heart or Dedication to your goal, and knowing that it does not represent You !!
I still have a # that I want to hit but I don't care if it takes a month, a year or years to hit. I know it will come when it is ready. And unlike all those times before this time is different because I am fixing the mental side that was creating the problem in the first place.
So here I am 5k,10k,15k,1/2 marathon done this year and now getting ready to celebrate my 1000th mile ran in 2013. And I realize the boy that became the man that had always quit, never felt worthy and lost his smile, has become the guy that can't Quit. Thanks to eating healthy & running, he got his smile back. I realize that not only do I have willpower but "I AM WILLPOWER"